As I prepared Sunday night, for the hospital trip yesterday, my brother J'dee asked, "Has it absorbed?" I asked for clarification, and he simplified his question by stating another, "Has the shock worn off?" My response at the time was, "I don't know."
Driving home yesterday I felt the weight of our reality creeping deeper and deeper. I'm trying to embrace chemotherapy. After all, it is saving Jace's life. But wow, the side-effects make me sad. Jace still has numerous aches and pains associated with the drugs. Also, you'd be surprised at how drastically it is altering the way he looks. We learned yesterday he has gained 5 lbs. in the last week. I'm pretty sure it's all in his cheeks and belly. He is also so tired and weak. His numbers yesterday were pretty normal (for a child with Leukemia): WBC .7L, RBC 3.14L, Hct 26.3L , ANC .30L. That might not mean much to most of you, but some of you might understand. The Hct at 26.3L is pretty low. That is the number they look at to decide if he needs a blood transfusion. The ANC @.30L is also low. This is the immune-compromised number that was a .20L last week (or what I called 200). While we were in the hospital, they didn't like Jace to leave his room if this was below .40. This number indicates it is almost impossible for Jace to fight infection. He cannot be exposed to anything.
This week we are grateful for the tender mercy of being able to return home once again. We even received the fantastic news that we can receive our treatment in Rexburg next week, but then return to PCMC on the 12th for more procedures.
Today we are going to tackle insurance and find the dreaded truth about how much it covers. We are also going to try to get caught up on the mountain of homework Jace has accrued. He doesn't feel like doing homework, but he also doesn't want to be in first grade again next year. Right now he is eating scrambled eggs and rubbing my arm tenderly as I type. He says to tell everybody hi.:)
Jade, I think so. It has absorbed. I have a sick boy to hold, a pile of papers to go through in front of me, and a house to clean. No shock. Just life. Eighteen days down and counting. We can do it.
(Making a penny wish in the fountain in front of PCMC)
