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| (Jace during February chemo treatment) |
So, I opened the laptop just now with every intention of making this blog private immediately. Matt and I have discussed doing this lately for many reasons. We aren't sure anyone reads it anymore anyway.:) We don't get many comments, and I don't really even know who I'm writing for. Also, sometimes I have something to say, but feel it's negative or it might come off ungrateful- so then I don't write at all- and I really DO want to record the whole journey. Making the blog private seemed like a good way to preserve it, and continue to write without worrying...
Then, I noticed there was actually a new comment on the last post. (Thank you Nicole. You said just the right things.:)) Does this blog bless others? It's an interesting concept. The truth is we are entirely finished with being in the spotlight...the attention we received in the beginning saved us...but we are SO ok with NOT being known as the family enduring cancer. But if somehow this blogs makes a difference, then maybe it's worth something. Does anyone have any thoughts for me?
Jace just crawled into my lap. He barely fits now...curled up into a ball, his long skinny legs touch his chin. I wrapped my arms entirely around him and kissed his head. I love him so much. He's getting so big...and old...would you believe he wears a size 7.5 in men's shoes despite having poison pumped into his body for the last 2.5 years??
He's been sick for a week from his February chemo. Every day we wake up hoping it will be the day he feels entirely better, but this month took a little longer. He missed 6 days of school. I really do see so many good things about his treatments, but three years of chemo is a long run- and we've never really been runners. It makes us tired, and it hurts. Is this coming off as ungrateful?
