Frozen

In addition to the frozen weather we are feeling outside, Jace now has to take frozen popsicles to his treatments. During this 4th cycle of chemotherapy Jace receives a slow push of medicine in his port for which he has to have ice in his mouth during the entire time it is administered. I’m not a medical brainiac, but it has to do with not allowing blood into the capillaries of his mouth and throat while he receives the med into his veins. Otherwise, it is so brutal it would cause mouth sores the size of quarters. Have you ever tried to eat something cold for 15 minutes straight? Yesterday it took a bit longer than that because his port was a little positional and didn’t want to receive the fluid. By the end, Jace was near tears, but trying valiantly to keep chewing on the ice (the popsicles were making him gag, so we finally tried a cup of just plain crushed ice.) He was sick to his stomach, his whole body ached, and his mouth was frozen. Sometimes watching Jace be so brave is almost more than I can endure.

Since last Monday, Jace received PEG shots Thursday, and chemo again yesterday. Although we had three pretty good weeks before the 18th, the last week has been hard on our Iron Man. We met a guy at the doctor’s office who has been fighting Cancer, and he shared his positive attitude. He said, “I don’t have bad days. I just have good days, and better days.” This morning at 4 AM after helping Jace throw-up, cry a little, and climb into our bed to fall back asleep, I’m having a hard time saying yesterday was even a good day. I’m practicing the words though, so they sound convincing when Jace awakes. His legs are also really aching, which we know is a side effect of the Vincristine, and more often than not, he needs his dad to carry him out of chemo.

But, living in Idaho has prepared us well for the kind of deep freeze that makes the bones ache and the spirit wish for warmer days. We look optimistically toward spring when the snow melts, and Jace doesn’t have to freeze his mouth every week. We have been talking with him about spring things too… like baseball and green grass and warmth. He told us Sunday, “I really need to practice baseball. I don’t know if I can even catch any more.” Matt and Hayden assured him that he’s a natural, and he’ll be just fine. Despite the cold weather, warmer days are coming. I can feel them. Do I sound convincing?

Mostly Photos

Jace's numbers were high enough to receive treatment this morning, so we were back at it. This time we were able to stay in Rexburg, so the ride home was much better. I motivated myself to pull out the laptop just now by remembering that a picture says a thousand words. I feel like I always say the same things after treatments, so I'll just post the photos and let them speak for themselves.  

Taking Jace back for his Lumbar Puncture (If I take pictures, then I forget to cry...He's awake and nervous, so I hate when he has to go without us!)

Jace had a great appetite when he awoke! He actually finished that whole plate of pancakes.

On our way to Dr. Hancock's...to receive two more meds through his port...

Four months down...we can do it.

Numbers

We don’t understand numbers yet. Our brains tell us Jace’s numbers should continually improve each day until he’s hit with another dose of chemo…but we’ve found this isn’t true. Thursday, Jan 7th, Jace’s numbers were pretty good. His ANC was amazing at 1.6, and we thought Jace would be able to enjoy an amazing weekend with no worries! He was scheduled for a Lumbar Puncture, Vincristine, and Doxorubicin, but by Monday morning at Primary Children’s Hospital his ANC had dropped to .5, so they sent us home without treatment. It’s interesting how quickly the cells and counts can change.

We will resume treatment as soon as these numbers come up, and we think we’ll be able to stay in Rexburg. Jace really does love both of his doctors though. It’s tender how genuinely he has taken to both Dr. Barnette and Dr. Hancock. Matt and I appreciate them and Joann, our social worker and advocate at PCMC too. They are all awesome. Through this entire experience our family has grown an appreciation for people who are amazing at what they do. I think it is common for the general population to be OK at their jobs/careers…but we’ve been so blessed to be treated and helped by the elite. It inspires me to be better, and it gives me so much hope for Jace’s future.

We took Hayden to the hospital with us this time, and it was a good decision. Our family felt complete as we charged those hospital doors together. Hayden was patient, loving and kind, even though he had to stay in the waiting rooms the entire time. He did homework, played on the computer, and watched people-- and I couldn’t help but smile as Jace “taught” Hayden how to make his wishes in the water outside the hospital doors. When we texted home and told everyone we weren’t getting treatment, someone asked, “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

My reply was that it was just a thing. Just life. We had a good weekend, and we were together—not to mention that Jace was happy for another few days of peace.

(By the elevators at PCMC--Jace showing Hayden which fish is his favorite)

Holiday Hoops and Heroes

For many years my sons have looked up to the stars on the Madison Basketball court. Hours in the gym also facilitated their love of basketball, and sitting on the end of the bench while Grandpa helped coach didn’t hurt. Many heroes emerged too-- high school boys and coaches taking care of Hayden and Jace while I was coaching cheerleading. I’ve always heard it takes a community to raise a child. I guess things haven’t changed. Dozens of former players, coaches, and friends from Madison, Sugar City, and Rigby High gathered to burn a few holiday calories and to play in the spirit of giving. It doesn’t surprise me that this group of athletes came to our aid…and they once again set a good example for our sons. As I sit here looking at the photos of the participating teams, I see former students and friends… Matt was invited to play…and my brothers and their friends. I see so many people we have grown to love over the years. Thank you Todd and Suzie Holman, for organizing such a great event! It also seems fitting that two former Madison Cheerleaders put together a nice photo album for Jace. Count us in for helping with the Holiday Hoops for next year…and the next. Who knows? Maybe someday Hayden and Jace can even play. Thank you, thank you “hooping” heroes. You will always be stars to our family.

Not Gonna Miss Ya-- 2009

I can’t lie. I’m glad it’s gone. Maybe someday I’ll look back on lessons learned, but not today. We are moving on. The good news is Jace has had his best week yet. Since his chemo treatment December 28th, Jace hasn’t been very sick at all. His new anti-nausea medicine is working (Thank you Dr. Hancock!), and he has eaten normally for a week. Jace also had high enough numbers to get out of the house a little.

His hair was getting bad again though- fuzzy and stringy, so we had our own head shaving party. We decided not to put the whole gang through the misery this time. Although Matt and Hayden literally shaved their heads with a razor, Jace didn’t have to. It took about one minute to whisk off the hair he still had, and his scalp is baby smooth.

We have a week of peace ahead of us, and then we’ll be back at Primary Children’s Hospital. We are FINISHED with phase #3, and we are ready for  #4. It’s been almost 4 months since Jace was first diagnosed, and 3 ½ months ago I didn’t know we’d make it this far. Look at us now—actually, look at Jace now. Isn't he cute?  Here we go… 2010.