Frozen

In addition to the frozen weather we are feeling outside, Jace now has to take frozen popsicles to his treatments. During this 4th cycle of chemotherapy Jace receives a slow push of medicine in his port for which he has to have ice in his mouth during the entire time it is administered. I’m not a medical brainiac, but it has to do with not allowing blood into the capillaries of his mouth and throat while he receives the med into his veins. Otherwise, it is so brutal it would cause mouth sores the size of quarters. Have you ever tried to eat something cold for 15 minutes straight? Yesterday it took a bit longer than that because his port was a little positional and didn’t want to receive the fluid. By the end, Jace was near tears, but trying valiantly to keep chewing on the ice (the popsicles were making him gag, so we finally tried a cup of just plain crushed ice.) He was sick to his stomach, his whole body ached, and his mouth was frozen. Sometimes watching Jace be so brave is almost more than I can endure.

Since last Monday, Jace received PEG shots Thursday, and chemo again yesterday. Although we had three pretty good weeks before the 18th, the last week has been hard on our Iron Man. We met a guy at the doctor’s office who has been fighting Cancer, and he shared his positive attitude. He said, “I don’t have bad days. I just have good days, and better days.” This morning at 4 AM after helping Jace throw-up, cry a little, and climb into our bed to fall back asleep, I’m having a hard time saying yesterday was even a good day. I’m practicing the words though, so they sound convincing when Jace awakes. His legs are also really aching, which we know is a side effect of the Vincristine, and more often than not, he needs his dad to carry him out of chemo.

But, living in Idaho has prepared us well for the kind of deep freeze that makes the bones ache and the spirit wish for warmer days. We look optimistically toward spring when the snow melts, and Jace doesn’t have to freeze his mouth every week. We have been talking with him about spring things too… like baseball and green grass and warmth. He told us Sunday, “I really need to practice baseball. I don’t know if I can even catch any more.” Matt and Hayden assured him that he’s a natural, and he’ll be just fine. Despite the cold weather, warmer days are coming. I can feel them. Do I sound convincing?